and it’s incredibly frustrating

There’s so much that I want to do

But I can’t

I want to understand,

and I want to make things better,

yet here I sit wondering if I’ve made any difference at all

Why hello my lovelies on this wonderful Wednesday afternoon!

So, yesterday we had to record our speeches and then bring them home and watch them and fill out a sheet while we watch it. Well, as to be expected I was dreading it. I just got done watching it though, and I must say I enjoyed my speech.

Am I the best speecher in the world? no. But, I have good points, seem confident, and I am a funny little speech giver. While i’m not exactly gonna host a movie night with my friends and show them the tape. I can honestly say that i’m pretty proud of myself and my speeches.

In other news, Sarah and I watched Happy Feet last night, and while it was a little…. dirty. I enjoyed it quite a lot. There was a lot of pretty funny stuff in it and what can I say, very cute not real baby penguins. What more could I want???

Oh! I think some of my sea monkeys are pregnant. Obviously they’ve been busy. I did not give them the talk, but i’d like to think they waited until sea monkey marriage.

Our Goats are very cute, doing well, and since i’m the one feeding and taking care of them, I am finally the favorite! In my life i’ve gone through many pets and my mom usually ends up being the favorite. This curse has followed me through dogs, cats, guinea pigs, rabbits, birds, even fish (if that’s possible). But the tides have turned my friends and finally I can honestly say, i’m the favorite. *sigh* It feels good.

Well, school is picking up. I have more projects, tests, ect… But I can see the end is near. I have approximately 4-5 more weeks of school after Friday. While with each day that passes I know I am coming closer to the day I leave, I am filled with dread and anticipation at the same time. I want it to be over, yet I want to hold on a little longer. It’s an odd feeling.

In not to long, i’m going to be packing up and going away, leaving everything i’ve known and pretty much everyone I love behind in the process. Everything will really be over and in my past. I will no longer be able to take care of my family and be right there if they need me. So much will change, and while I hold so much excitement for my life and how God wants to use me, I can’t help but feel sad and like i’m leaving a part of myself.

Let’s see… I’m going to a concert a week from today. Anberlin will be there along with Meg & Dia, and a few other bands. I’m very excited although i’ll need to find directions and stuff.

I think that is all. So now i’m going to go workout, shower, and then curl up on my love seat, with a blanket, and some hot coco, while I watch some charmed. Dont’ worry about the hot coco though, I’m pretty sure it’s a low fat kind and I already worked it into my diet for the day. Just in case you were wondering, lol

<3333, I send you my love and smiles on this very wonderful Wednesday.

Hello everybody!

So, on the subject of my uncle Butch. Well i’m not sure if I talk to much about him, but if you’ve ever heard. Then well you know I don’t really like him so much.  He works my nerve like nothin else.

Anyway, I am in Better Weigh again this challenge, which is fine. I’m not against my big figure, i’m actually pretty okay with it. I know i’m a cutie and it doesn’t matter so much to me if other people think so or not.  So, the competition is fine, I do try, but I don’t give it my best, cause well it doesn’t matter a whole bunch to me.

During this competition I am on my uncle Butch’s team. He is using this as an opportunity to “motivate” me with his big talk and insults.

Tonight, however he said that he wants to go pound for pound with me. If I lose, hmmm… something happens. I dunno his mouth was moving but i wasn’t picking up what was coming out, cause it won’t matter anyway. I will not lose.

So  when I win, my Uncle Butch, will get down on his knees and tell me that i was right, he was wrong and he’s sorry for all the nasty things he’s said to me.

Let’s just say, this motivates me so much more than money. So my lovely friends, I will not longer be able to go out to eat with you or drink pop with you or order pizza with you, for a couple of months. In fact if you ever see anything go into my mom that looks not good for me, I give you all the permission to take it and squish it into my hair. Although I know you guys wouldn’t really do that…. Would you?

I just thought i’d let everyone know. You know, since this blog is about me and my life and all, lol.

This is probably the only chance in my whole entire life to stick it to Butch in a completely fair, none mean way, and I will not pass it up.   It   is   ON!  :$ Grrr… (that was like my competitive football player face, just in case you were wondering, lol.) I feel like I should like paint my face or something.

<333

Yay to spring coming. fantasies of golf carts, lying in the yard reading and listening to my music, going for walks. *sigh* <3 it!

Our goats are so very very cute! Next weekend i’m getting baby duckies. I’m very excited.

So, i’ve been on a big ATF kick, since you know, I just came back from one. Anyhow, i’ve been searching youtube for ATF videos and actually found quite a few, so i’m gonna start posting them every so often, or ya know, whenever I feel like it. lol.

Well i’m gonna go play outside.

Here’s a video I found of last year’s ATF in Detroit, someone put together a bunch of different slips from the event.  Hereya go my lovelies!

<333

Goats Goats!!!!

I found a very pretty song. I like it a lot.

The first video is a loop of the band playing the chorus twice, and the 2nd video is the only video I could find of the whole song where you can hear it well, and I think the guy has a pretty voice.

band loop—->

Whole song—>

Lyrics….

Starfield: Cry in my Heart

There’s a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There’s a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?
(For I’ve been here before
But I know there’s still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)

For what do I have
If I don’t have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head

Well, we are back from Acquire the Fire 2007. It was a good time, as usual.

While there were some directional difficulties as usual, Bethel eventually brought us to the right place, once we went down Toledo street. The hotel was okay, I mean we had a tv, beds, and a bathroom you could almost fit in. What more could you want?

We weren’t in the hotel for a whole lotta time though, but while we were there, Jesse somehow hid my brand new bottled water in my bag. it was recovered though and all was well, except that Jesse’s hip went out in the process, oh! and he stopped breathing, but Jesse being the fast thinker he his just grabbed a nearby pillow so he could smother himself, thus causing him to… breathe again? Yeah, we don’t’ get it either, but just go with it. Oh our Sweet Sweet hilarious little Jesse. Oh how we love your antics.

Worship was amazing! Unhindered was the group, they have a website: unhinderedworship.com I believe, although they dont’ have any cds for purchase online. but I got one at ATF.

The sermons were good also, and there was the snazzy play and all the videos. Good times all around.

I love just getting away for the weekend and having a time to just focus on God. It always helps me put things into perspective.

My heart continually bleeds for the youth of this generation. For how little they are beginning to mean to most people and leaders and how little they are beginning to mean to themselves. My heart cries out for them and for God to use me to reach them. I feel such pain for the youth and I know that that is only a very slight reflection of the pain God feels for them. I can’t even imagine how God’s heart is breaking for them.

So lately i’ve been thinking about the whole Bible Study thing. I think i’m gonna attempt to try something like that again. While I know that everyone has jobs and all that jazz, but that’s okay. I think i’m just gonna have one for me and if people are off or just want to come they can.

I’m going to pick a devotional book separate from my regular one and start going through it once a week, probably on like Tuesday or Wednesday night, maybe Sunday nights. I’m not sure. If you have any interest and would prefer one of the days, let me know. All I know is that I miss having in depth conversations about God. I miss being challenged and going deep about him. there is a chance that no one will show and that’s cool, like I said before I can do it alone. But i’m very tired of surfacy Bible Studies. I want to try my best to have one that goes deep and really challenges myself and others. I want a place where we can be honest about *gasp* *shock* feelings, lol, and our lives. I want to grow. I want to be challenged. and that won’t happen if there is criticism, judgment, and just surfacy nice stuff.

So like I said I will pick a day and time and such and start going through a study weekly. I am more than content doing it on my own, I won’t be upset if people are to busy or not interested. But my door’s always open.

Oh yeah! also, if you go to battlycry.com and click on create your own battle plan, they are trying to make a big network for Christians and, you can like add people and stuff. you come up with things you are going to do to grow and you can blog there and stuff to. I made one but am still working on it. If you want to find mine or need help finding the site let me know.

Now, I am very hungry and want to shower, so i’m gonna go, lol. Here is a video of one the Hillsong songs that were played by unhindered at ATF. I know this video is kinda long, but it’s worth it to watch the whole thing, I really like the end of it too. Oh, and i’ll put lyrics underneath the video. Enjoy.

Hillsong: from the inside out

A thousand times I've failed

Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again

I'm caught in Your grace

Everlasting

Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else

My purpose remains

The art of losing myself

In bringing You praise

Everlasting

Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame


In my heart and my soul

Lord I give You control

Consume me from the inside out

Lord let justice and praise

Become my embrace

To love you from the inside out


Everlasting

Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart

Is to bring You praise

From the inside out

Lord my soul cries out


Create your own Friend Quiz here

So, as I sit in my little wooden chair this evening and listen to the relaxing rain fall outside my window while looking at the picture from my museum trip I have decided to come and say hello to my little friends

I still have yet to watch the Spiderman movies.  Seriously I dunno what my problem is. I’m planning on doing it either tonight or tomorrow though. I’m thinking about hitting the hay early tonight though and getting lots of sleep.I think my lack of sleep is starting to affect me.

I’ve been feeling very sick like all day. I have yet to hurl though, so that’s good. Although part of me wishes that I would just do it and get it over with. The little boys I babysat Monday were sick, so I just hope I didn’t get anything from them.  It’s all good though I suppose.

So last night Sarah and I decided at around 1 in the morning to try that whole diet coke and mentoes fountain thing. We try both reg. Diet coke and generic.  They both seemed to work equally well. It was awesome though. We alsoput mentoes in our mouths and held them in there with diet coke.

Quite interesting stuff if I do say so myself. We also set a dominoes chessy bread box on fire. Also, very cool.

I have pictures of our adventure. I think I may try to figure out how to set up a flickr account and start putting my pictures on there. Flickr? is that how it’s spelled? Hmmm… I dunno.

I think I may skip Fusion tomorrow night and stay home. This is sad to me, but I just feel really cruddy and want to be better for Friday.

which brings me to ATF, which i’m very stoked about.

I learned how to use a saw today!  Now I want to build a house! Who wants me to build there new home? any takers?

Well, i’m gonna go. I send you all my love.

<333

I really wanna watch the Spiderman movies.

so I finished another book this morning. The book wasn’t amazing or anything, I mean it was good, but not like fantabulous. Anyway it always makes me really sad when I finish books and stuff. I think when things end and goodbyes and stuff just make me sad.

You know that quote don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. I like that quote, but I think i’m just one of those smile and cry people. lol.

I was just thinking about that and thought i’d blog about it.

<333